I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am mentally ready for anal.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize