Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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