Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
tell me about the eggs
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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