So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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