Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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