he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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