clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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