...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize