she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
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Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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