the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize