Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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