It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize