Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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