Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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