I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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