I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize