It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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