Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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