Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
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your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
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If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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