a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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