I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
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Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
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Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize