I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
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I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
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Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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