Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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