How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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