Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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