Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize