Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its about making memories worth repressing
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize