The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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