he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
dude. I can hear the air.
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