She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize