i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
