he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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