At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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