i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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