Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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