Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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