Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
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She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize