well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize