I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We have started to decorate penises.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize