I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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