its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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