How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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