i don't really know how much tequila is too much
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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