but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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