Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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