I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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