Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
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I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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