I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
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you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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