I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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