I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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