I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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