He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize