WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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