Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize