I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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